Of All Things

I promise myself every day that I will not become you

I will not lose track of time 

And deny the truth so I don’t have to face the fact that I’m an unfaithful, hateful, violent 

Abuser of all things and all places;

To hear no sounds and see no traces 

Must have been hard to get used to

But you make it look so easy,

And every time my space is invaded by anyone, no matter how innocent, I grow queasy – uneasy,

And I think I am walking away,

But I am not 

And I think that it’s tears that drip down my shirt,

But it is sweat,

And suddenly I am suffocating 

Because every breath leads to punishment;

You made sure I knew to

Always look afraid

Because looking like I could handle yourself

Was a challenge,

Which you never took lightly


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